This morning, as I reflected on my ‘Coming Out’ journey, I couldn’t help but think about how far our community has come and how much further we still need to go for each of us to be truly free. National Coming Out Day was first celebrated in 1988 (the year I graduated) highlighting the importance of visibility and solidarity in the face of homophobia. The day responded to the ongoing need for LGBTQ+ people to live openly to challenge stereotypes and foster acceptance. At this time, gay bashing was the “norm”. The HIV/AIDS epidemic was at its height during this period, deeply affecting our community. By 1991, AIDS had become the leading cause of death for men aged 25-44. The government was extremely slow to respond and our community was dying.
The first time I was “gay bashed” was in undergrad. I was leaving my first gay bar, a place I heard about where our community could be totally free. I remember walking in —- I couldn’t believe it! There were so many people there just like me. They were dancing and their “moves” embodied pure joy! Up until that point, I had only known two other gay people. As I walked out of the bar feeling hope and optimism, there were three “white bros” who started to tease and taunt me. I ran to my car to escape and before I knew it, a bottle hit the back of my head. It was the first time that I felt the real terror and danger of hate.
It changed me.
Now, 36 years later, I still struggle. I have lost consulting jobs because of my identity. Each time it happens, it brings back the trauma from the 80s and 90s where life didn’t seem worth living. Now, I feel I have a SUPERPOWER — a chosen family that includes our Core Collaborative Family and provides me with the emotional and social support I need. I’m also incredibly fortunate that my parents have chosen to support me on my journey of self-acceptance, and I never take their love for granted. My husband Tony and our two sons are closer than ever and our setbacks have strengthened us all. I now fully recognize the “gifts” my identity has brought me. My chosen family is built on a foundation of deep mutual care and love, forged through our shared experiences of marginalization. These connections are priceless. Both my chosen family and my parents have stood by me whenever life has knocked me down, providing a safe space where I can express myself without fear of judgment. Together, they foster connection, solidarity, and empowerment in my life, giving me the strength to thrive.
Our community still has a long way to go. In 2024, anti-LGBTQ+ legislation continues to be a significant issue across the U.S., with nearly 300 bills introduced early in the year. These bills primarily target transgender rights, with several laws focusing on restricting access to gender-affirming care for minors, barring transgender athletes from participating in sports aligned with their gender identity, and limiting access to public spaces such as bathrooms and locker rooms. These bills have wide-reaching impacts, particularly on mental health, with many LGBTQ+ individuals, especially youth, reporting negative effects from the hostile political environment. Despite a slight slowdown in the overall number of bills passed in 2024 compared to previous years, the legislative attacks remain substantial and continue to erode essential rights for LGBTQ+ people (Advocate.com LGBTQ Nation HRW).
LGBTQ+ youth face significant mental health challenges. According to The Trevor Project, which provides crucial data on these concerns, LGBTQ+ youth experience elevated risks of depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts compared to their peers. Here are some alarming statistics that underscore the gravity of the situation:
- Mental Health and Suicidality:
- 45% of LGBTQ youth seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year.
- 60% of LGBTQ youth who wanted mental health care in the past year were unable to get it.
- 14% of LGBTQ youth attempted suicide in the past year, with rates higher among transgender and nonbinary youth (LGBTQ Nation).
- Transgender and Nonbinary Youth:
- Nearly 1 in 5 transgender and nonbinary youth attempted suicide in the past year.
- 54% of transgender and nonbinary youth seriously considered suicide in the past year, a rate significantly higher than their cisgender peers (LGBTQ Nation)(HRW).
- Discrimination and Harassment:
- 73% of LGBTQ youth report experiencing discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity at least once in their lifetime.
- Nearly 1 in 3 LGBTQ youth faced physical threats or harm due to their identity (LGBTQ Nation).
- Support and Affirmation:
- LGBTQ youth who have at least one accepting adult are 40% less likely to attempt suicide.
- LGBTQ youth who received gender-affirming care were nearly 40% less likely to attempt suicide(LGBTQ Nation).
These statistics underscore the critical need for mental health support, community affirmation, and anti-discrimination efforts to improve outcomes for LGBTQ+ youth.
This National Coming Out Day, let’s celebrate authenticity and support those who are bravely embracing their true selves. For many LGBTQ+ youth, the journey of coming out can be filled with challenges, including rejection and mental health struggles. The Trevor Project offers life-saving support through crisis intervention and suicide prevention for LGBTQ+ youth. By donating today, you can help provide the resources and care that make a critical difference in the lives of vulnerable young people. Stand with the LGBTQ+ community and help ensure that no one has to face this journey alone.
The Trevor Project is the leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention nonprofit organization for LGBTQ+ young people. We provide information & support to LGBTQ+ young people 24/7, all year round. To learn more about this incredible organization or if you or someone you know is going through it and needs support, click the link below.
The Trevor Project